Campaign 2, Session 02 –
Grandma’s Swollen Homunculus
are there changes on the horizon
is this the same game?
did Dan change anything
are the rules merely suggestions on how to have fun?
last time:
Western Side Docks, post mugging
• it’s a zoo, hundreds of monkeys, bald faces and pink asses
• kinku appear to be commanding monkeys around
• young yuantis
• kinkus are at a bench, overseeing
• monkeys, hooks and carts to move the crates
• bob approaches kinkus, a kinku flies onta horn, takes a dump “friend or foe
• Bob reluctantly replies friend, and is unable to convince them that the party are hairdressers
looking for combs
• Auren goes to Yuantis and asks about the crate, they prompt for coin
• Auren gives 2g to a Yuanti, and they say, “I think perhaps the crate was taken by gentelmens
club”
• Evie investigates the docks further, finds a void where a pink crate could have occupi
• seems to find a sliver of met
• Varek attempts to investigate the metal sliver but fails, hands the sliver of metal back to Evie
• Evie further invesstigates
• Barth dodges a monkey attemptiing to pull off his junk from his bo
• Gus dodges a monkey attempting to pick pocket him
• Barca asks the other Yuanti about missing crate
• Barca gives 2 gold coins to this Yuanti, and finds out it was proprieter and his men that too
the crate
[5:50 PM]
• Yuanti seems to be telling the truth
• Barth is having trouble with the crates -things don’t seem to be clear to Barth
• everything is becoming large and smaller with his breath
• hallucinations are increasing for Barth
• Gus asks Barth what he needs, and Barth explains the size of pants he needs
• Gus gives medium pants from Gus’ bag of holding
• these pants don’t fit Barth well enou
• Auren asks Yuanti about any magic or special items (exotics) that have come through the
docks recently
• Gus casts friendly spell on the same Yuanti Auren is speaking to
• Evie attempts to ‘gotham knight’ the scene to determine the path the crate went
• Will Wonyer
• Varek is looking for towers or high spots, heads up the air docks, it was misty the higher up
he went
• mayor’s wife looking for mayor, Bernard Loax – short dwarf man ->
• Bob explained that we stopped a mugging, and her husband the mayor might have been the
victim
• Barca describes run down establishment, very guady looking, bold colors
• Bob tries to describe to the group he needs to help the mayors wife
• Gus heavily protests delaying any further
• Evie wants to give directions to mayor’s wife, and is successful
• mayor’s wife is shocked and worried her husband will turn into a zombie
• mayor’s wife takes off to find her husband in the direction Evie indic
• Group heads towoards Yonyers
[5:50 PM]
Will Wonyers
• Barth is progressively worse, the further we get
• ppl around appear to be staggering around as well
• we approach Will Wonyers, decorated guady on the outside
• siluettes of women and a huge sign, almost
• looks to be open, saloon style
• hear loud drum music, Evie discovers it’s inviting, ethnic,
• Bob heads into the front doors, with Barth and Gus
• Evie puts her hood up, clutching her collar, following the front group
• as we walk in, cheap dried flowers, tobacco, spilled ale, stale brea
• drum cicle on stage, very loudly
• all you can eat buffy in the cente
• people are shouting to hear each other
• Will Wonyers is leaning against the wall behind the drums
• toga w/ puke stains, hand gripping a mug, other hand w/ cigarette in complete ash
• almost passed out but standing
• rest of the team goes around back, looks for a back entrance, all attempt to go stealth
• Auren and Barca are hidden very well, as Varek stomps through the back alley
• in the alley, there is a guy getting sucked off, and another few ppl high or out of
• back to inside, drum circle, one wall with a bar, center is buff
• stripper poles on both sides of buffet, what is this place trying to
• Gus went to the bar ->
• Bob walks up to Will and shouts over the music, “we’re looking for Jim Jackof
• Bob stares in disbelief as his horn pierced a drum
• drummer looks up at Bob, “brah, you killed my vibe” – younger
• juice? the drummer asks, and he mentions double D
• Auren find the room with the crate and gets locked
• Bob finds out there’s a beef between Will and J’z
• Bob tries to convince him that he can save face and fails
• Gus has misgivings about Bob’s attempt to convince Will
• Barth tries to convince Will we need the crate, and Will explains the crate couldn’t be opened
and it’s in the back
• Bob heads to the back and ends up in the crate room w/ Varek
• crate is guadily painted with big cloudy, puff letters with “combo
• Bob picks up the crate, it isn’t very heavy, heads out back with it
• Barca mentions to Varek to what has occurred to find everyone outsi
• Evie mentions I could have used a dolly
• party is together again and head back towards J’zzy with his crate

J’zzy’s place
• we walk into the establishment, J’zzy’s place, there’s still actiion here, patrons are heavily
intoxicated, classy drunk
• J’zzy is seated with teenis open and free, hands outstretched
• Bob sees a spiral shaped hole on the front, three bars that go up and down with numerical
values <handout>
• Auren opens the lock effortlessly with the thieves too
• instantly, this aura surrounding the crate drops, like turning off a CRT
• lift the top of the crae,t and J’zzy laughs, “yeaaah”
• a thousand bottles of oil of slipperiness fall out
• 5 gold each, see the guy out front, now get the fuck out of here
• Auren asks if this was the agreement, and J’zzy says it is
• Barth tries to convince J’zzy with his huge member as J’zzy asked to be convinced
• Barth has a convincing member that catches J’zzy’s attention
• J’zzy is convinced to barter 5 gold extra per person in exchange for 3 performances by
Barth, one private
• attendant reaches into his belt and adds a chastity belt to restrict barth’s member
• Dickee Dongle? Stage Name
• chastity belt appears to have some sort of magical aura
• silly voiced guard lets the person at the bar know we get 10 gold a piece
• we hear some combo safe sounds and then he comes out with 70g to hand us
• leave J’zzy’s place for adventurers guild
Adventurer’s guild
• Barca and Evie leave to check on the mayor
• cheap cleric’s house, knock on the door
• the cleric looks greasey as he opens the door
• cleric explains that the mayor was short, and might rot in a couple days
• Barca insights the healer’s poor services to gain payments
• bob hands over 5 copper for pants at the merch counter
• Barth is able to take his own pair of pants without paying
• Evie and Barca find out the mayor is a zombie that will start rotting in a couple da
• the safe is behind the bar at J’zzys, BAR IS BUSY, REALLY BUSY
• “let’s get out of here unless any of you other guys want a cock ring”
• looking for the mayor’s wife, the outdoor streets are starting to pick back up with people
• the vendors are returning for the morning
• make our way back to western docks for adventur guild
• the guild is picking up, and people are in the lobby waiting for their own assignments
• it’s stuffy waiting inside the lobby, been waiting until lunchti
• we are called to the boss’ office, and we all walk
• the boss is looking rather spent, being up all night himself
• takes 3 gold each, turns around, spins the lock, opens the safe and puts all this new gold in
the large sack inside the safe
• dont have anything big for seven members, motions for us to leave
• as we’re walking out, Ruuk writes down our party’s name
• is there a bulletin board, posting their own jobs –
• Bob goes to check the bulletin board
grandma’s swollen homonculous
End of session.